Friday, May 13, 2005

Essay Thirty-Eight

Misfits, Madmen, MultiCultClassics Minutes and more…

• How bad can it be for Michael Jackson when his latest character witness is Macaulay Culkin? Culkin insisted Jacko’s not wacko, although he admitted they occasionally slept together. Responding to questions about Jackson’s porn collection, Culkin said, “When I was 12 or 13 years old I had a couple of Playboys under my bed.” The “Playboys” probably included Jackson and Richard Simmons.

• Eminem settled his lawsuit with Apple. The computer company was accused of playing the rapper’s music in an iTunes commercial without permission. Eminem will use the settlement loot to buy his mama a new trailer home.

• Lawyers for Bill Cosby denied he drugged and sexually assaulted a woman in January 2004. The comedian was only offering the woman his Pudding Pop.

• By the way, wasn’t Cosby recently reprimanding certain Black folks for being poor role models? Of course, Cosby’s worst crime in the last year remains his involvement with the Fat Albert movie.

• Now sources claim Dave Chappelle checked into a mental health facility in South Africa. Can’t think of a better place for a brotha to get the best possible medical care.

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