Sunday, June 19, 2005

Essay Fifty-Six

Missing the exit and missing the point with MultiCultClassics Minutes…

• The Illinois Department of Transportation’s Traffic Stop Statistical Study revealed Blacks are pulled over more often than other groups. Did somebody really need to conduct a study to uncover these results? The Nutty Professor could have presented the same conclusions without a lick of research.

• The good news: A stretch of U.S. 61 in Tennessee has officially been named the B.B. King Highway in honor of the famed bluesman. The bad news: A disproportionately higher percentage of Blacks will probably be pulled over in this area too.

• A growing number of activists are complaining — and rightfully so — that missing minorities don’t receive the attention and coverage that missing pretty white girls do. Too bad these missing minorities aren’t driving through Illinois.

• Jennifer Wilbanks, the infamous runaway bride, will soon be cashing in on her fake abduction via an exclusive rights deal with ReganMedia. It’s safe to say most people were happier when this moron was missing. Remember, Wilbanks originally claimed to be kidnapped and sexually assaulted by a Hispanic man. Which all goes to show it really pays to be a lying, racist criminal in America.

• Michael Jackson’s family is seeking to deal for their own reality TV show. As if American audiences haven’t seen enough of the odd collection of reconstructed faces and altered body parts. Someone please inform these carnival freaks they’ve far exceeded the proverbial fifteen minutes. At this point, the only appropriate network would be the Sci-Fi Channel.

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