Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Essay Ninety-Six

Check out what’s showing during Showtime At The Apollo and beyond…

> There’s a forgettable Pampers commercial pumping lyrics from Snap’s “The Power” tune. Note to the creative team responsible: Diapers advertising should never use the line, “You go, girl.”

> Okay, so it’s a standard Black advertising tactic to feature a stand-up comic. But Bruce Bruce for Popeye’s is just wrong wrong. Damn, the dude’s one spicy wing away from a massive stroke.

> It’s easy for Daddy’s baby girl to become the next Venus Williams. Just start swinging a racket and swigging Sunny D. This commercial’s more sickly sweet than the sugary swill it’s selling.

> Wonder how long before the McDonald’s spot with everyone flashing hand signals gets pulled over concerns it depicts gang behavior.

> The Nissan Altima SE-R is the official car of Funkytown. There goes the neighborhood. From a conceptual standpoint, this idea’s in serious need of some urban renewal.

> The strategic brief showed Bounty paper towels are strong enough to handle glue spills. Therefore, present a family assembling a dinosaur with popsicle sticks for a science project. The final result? Prehistoric, of course.

> Mickey D’s new Premium Chicken Sandwiches make a brotha babble about paradigm shifts and brainless blah, blah, blah. Yeah, fried chicken does that to Black folks.

> The karaoke couple for Crest Whitening plus Scope inspires wailing and gnashing of teeth. This commercial has an unintended retro feel — that is, it looks like it was shot in the early 70s.

> Somebody please, please, please explain the BK Chicken Fries Rebel Unit. No, wait. Don’t bother.

Sandman Sims, hit the remote.

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